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| One of the bad guys |
When I was at school, my friend Red Michael read that sailors in the olden days used to mix a load of ground nutmeg in water and knock it back because it 'supplemented their rum rations' or something. Later that day we went down into town during our lunch break and went to Tesco and bought ourselves two boxes of Schwartz nutmeg refill things. We returned to school and poured a sachet of it into our mouths then knocked it back with water from the drinking fountain - four times each. Yes. Four sachets each. Half an hour later we decided that either Red Michael had got it wrong or it was just bullshit and carried on with the rest of the day's lessons.
At about 3.45pm whilst waiting for the bus home my head was spinning like crazy. By the time I got home my mum asked me if I'd been drinking at school again because of my behaviour. By about 6pm everything had turned black and white but with glowing, blue neon edges, a bit like in Tron...then my sister's hairbrush flew from a table and hovered in front of my eyes in the living room, still with glowing blue edges. I went to grab it several times then my mum bollocked me for being drunk. As she did so I pointed to the hairbrush in front of my face but it hadn't (obviously) moved at all. I vaguely remember walking upstairs to bed but was worried that me mum's cat was going to bite me forehead off - something the placid feline had never done ever. The fear of this made me walk in slow motion. So slow it took me nearly half an hour to get up the stairs.
I felt like shite the next day and was throwing up all day. Red Michael had to have the week off.
Fucked off my tits on nutmeg. Don't try nutmeg.
